


The darkness

by TheWurst



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Minor Character Death, Multi, Other, Post-Apocalypse, Romance, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2018-09-28 15:49:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 13,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10130162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWurst/pseuds/TheWurst
Summary: Someone or something, darted across the room like a swift flicker of a candle, an unknown intruder with a menacing presence. Ever since Katniss had seen the districts crumble before her eyes, she had been hunted and targeted by bio weaponize creatures. Vampires. Katniss sat up straight, quickly grabbing the switchblade that was under her pillow and held at towards the source of the demonic presence.“Who are you?” She shouted, voice straining with demanding sharpness.“I'm here for Peeta”Katniss swallowed back the knot in her throat, grasping the blade with shaky, trembling hands.“I won't let you take him.”





	1. Chapter 1: Chapter 0: Introduction: Prologue; Act 1 part 1

**Author's Note:**

> DiScLaImEr: Like I don’t OWn anyThiNG. So we can’t own the characters, but the situations and the presentation is ours. In short whatever we use from Hunger Games is not ours, anything we make ourselves, is ours. 
> 
> Chapter Snng quote:  
> "So give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff  
> Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough  
> So give them blood, blood, blood  
> Grab a glass because there's going to be a flood"

It is morning and Kantic wanted some bread. SHe headed out to grb bread. The bread tasted good.

Peeto appeared suddenly and said, “What is thes bread we have? Ist true bread?”

She looked into hes eye. “It true loaf.” She sEd.

He turned his head sideways like a confused bird, not underwithstanding why she thought the bread was “true”

That was when they both realizd the loaf was true, anything but truth and the loaf was a means of acquiring their inner pidgeon.

Teh truf of the loaf was the truesthiest trueth ever seen by neither of them.

“Youre the loaf to my bread” he said romatically

Than Galileo come in. He was the nife to there loaf. Peta was The mitochondria to her the powerhouse of her celll. Galleiesoilo was the enzymes inside that mitochondriaon.

Kantsu abd Peeta were like ADP, but Gallele was the thurd unwanted phosphate that made everything AtPawkward.

The three held eneergy but bad eneergy. Mooch baaad energy. Like sheep. Baaaa-d eneergy. Bahaahaha energy. Bad, BAD energy.

The Wurst Eneergy.

Peeta stared at Galaio, angry that he disruppted their romatic loafing. He grabbed a kitchen nife and started to throuw them at Galaleo like a ninja like the ones in naruto but ten times worse becaue peeta was gooad at martial arts and he was secretly a blackbelt.

They then proceded to initiate what would eventually bee the most intense loafing contest known to pidgeonkind.

Days passed.

Mothes passed...

Yeers pased……………..

They were still fighting, and Cheeto was tired from breaking all those adenosine triphosphate bonds. Galimimus continued to hold on dutifully to those phosphate molocules. Gallalaos held togther the bonds like holding hands with Katunia.

Pretzel wiped the sweat off his brow, barely able to catch his bread from how intense the battle had been. He looked to the side, wondering where Knatic was. sHe was sitting on the floor, buttering bread with a knife.

“You...you btrayed me” He whispered softly, feeling as if the world was murdering him slowly with a hella smal metal spoon.

She dropped the knife, eyes widening like the eyes of spongebob. “No Peto, it isnt ehat you think!”

It was too late. He was heartbroken.

Gleco telported behing her.

“You;ve lost,” we whispered as he stared intently in Pengo’s eyes. They both felt ther lungs deflate as their breath was stolen from them. The loaf in their eyes were slowly molding.

Guste reached towards Pheet with a trembling fingernail, as Ptoto did the same. They stumbled forwads, meeting at the middle of the smoldering sauna, the toes entertwining on the soft, luscious grass.

“It was you all along,” breathed Gringo.

“I loaf thee,” mumbled Pedeedee.

A soft, melacholic song was playing the background.

_How could this happen to me_  
_I made my mistakes_  
_I’ve got no where to run_  
_The night goes on_  
_As I’m fading away_  
_I’m sick of this life_  
_I just wanna scream_  
_How could this happen to me_

They leaned slowly towards each other, just a ahre’s breath away from touching.

Phfeeda, with tears in his eyes, turns toward you and says, “No.”

You look at him, then at Greas, confused as to what just happened.

“How- how did u?” Gamma ray says. “How did you just appear here?”

“I-I dont know,” you stammered, unable to hold your composer under the intense gaze of those holographic irises. He stared into your orbs.

KATNISS RUSHES IN FROM LEFT STAGE. “Why???” She falls to the ground. “MY Boyfriends?? WHY??” she is annoyed with them cheating on her, but she’s more annoyed she wasn’t invited to this angst party.

You suddenly turn on her, the vampire-werewolf blood in your veins taking control. You could feel the red hot lava coursing through euvery nanometer of the biological sack of flesh and fluids you call a “body”.

As the two dashed towards each other, Katanus allowed her feral side to take over, morphing her into a fearsome lagomorpha. Her powerful legs bashed the newcomer’s head into the loamy ground, and her iron-tipped front teeth easily forced their way through the hybrid’s skull, splattering as mess of blood and brains across the deck of the ship. Territorial hunger satisfied, Kasduna relaxed and reigned in the animal inside. Turning a full 583 degrees, she saw the two boys were staring at her, wide eyes filled with an unreadable expression.

“What?” asked Kununis, confused as to why they were looking at her like that.

“Kharas,” murmured Poetahs, his gaze locking onto the girl’s. “We…”

“Should totally have a threesome,” finished Geell.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published March 06, 2017


	2. Funk Oshen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm ded

Last time on The darkness…

“Kharas,” murmured Poetahs, his gaze locking onto the girl’s. “We…”

“Should totally have a threesome,” finished Geell.

* * *

 

Kitutu giarated until hse was facin the ocean. Frak Ocean. The Musiculan. That dude was there. You know, that one dude. The dude who one two emmys proabably? And then maybe also a oscar? For Music? That dude. Yea. So basically what was hapend was. It was real wierd that that dude was their.

“Woa, Wat?” Kitnessie sad. “Ur frak Ocean.”   
“Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.” He said. “I am frak Ocean.”

“Im am THE FRNK OSHUN.” ye once agian repeeted.  
“Im am THE FRNK OSHUN.” he wans ageen repeeted.  
“Im am THE FRNK OSHUN.” se unce agrain repeeted.  
“Im am THE FRNK OSHUN.” ye sons agrian repeeted.

Remember he has one two emmys and then been nominated by a much mre.   
Katfist bared her vamp teeth and then smiled, actually just bared her teeth. You think it looks like a smile. It is not a smile. She is just baring her teeth. It is not a smile. She is showing off her sharp fangs. It is not a smile. You are incorrect in assuming such. You are incorrect in assuming. You are inccorrect. By assuming you have made an ass out of u and me.

“Im am THE FRNK OSHUN.” he sais agaan repeeted

Piita and Greun leeked on feerfully and heeld eech otheer tightlee in thee corneer. Petuniah held up a leek an took a heuge bight out of it. He made a grossed ouwt face because it was a leek. And leeks taste gross. Real Groose. A Gross of Leeks tastes a gross times as gross. Aka 144 times as Groose.

Cantusis stalked toward Fnak Uscion. Stalked like the stalk of a bean plant. In fact, this waz parshally due to the fact the Kintusih had bean DNA in her. Literally. Did you know that one time some scientists scienced and found we had a bunch of genes shared with beans? Katpiss has a little nown recessive gene that allowed her to acess her inner potatoo. Althogh her werewolve and vumpire jeans were dominant and usualy controlllled they way she vishusly killed baby squirells an bunnies, her pootato jeans allowed her to bleand in seamlessly with the enviroment.

This is what it looked like:

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ))  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
( ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

“Im am SCARED OSCHUN.” he sad agaaaaaaaain repeatttlily.

Over bak at there corner Peal And Gettle held on to eech othr tighter. They held ech other so titly that the cobined unmanliness opened a vortex wormhole thingamaboob that suchked tham into an different dimenshun.

What’s that called? Vortex? Wormhole? Interdimensional portal that could possible achieved on day through the extensive study of dark matter? Yea. Sounds about right.

  
Geal, Pfene, Khatnus and Fsac Ootion all laneded in a heapheaping pile. A giANT ant suddenly appeered and nibbled on all of there nostrils. Surpirsed, Khasdusda flciked te unusally gigantamongus saurus rex/ant into the large pille of bodies next to her, which consisted of preeta, geles, and franc osion.

“Ugnhhhhhhh1!!!!!” shouted Pringles.  
“Ugnhhhhhhh2!!!!” whispered Gallade!!!!!  
“Im am Frsc Ucean3!!!!!” sais frananajk occcccean agaaaaaaiiiiinnnn rrrerererererepeatpeatpeateeeedededdelyyyylylylyyyyyyy.

At that moment, a unusually long shadow fell over the group and frak oceean. And if you look to your right, here we can seeeeee the Memesaurus Rex in it's semi-natural habiutut.

“Yeeeeeeeeeeee”, it greeted.

“Im trying to sprread memes but his one memeosaurus rex keepss kicking my asss,” mumbles Porete.

“Pour Petaa.” whisped Goalie. “I could help you.” He suddenly turned into a green frog that could sometimes be a symbol for white supremicy. Text appeared under his head. Not Good Man, it read in comic sans.

Khastun pulled a unicycle out of herr magnifisent mne and handed itto the frog-Grail. Gathee made a feew laps aroug the memeosaurus rex before he suddelee tripped and laned in sum fuk. His short tail was sheeeeen stiking up from da mud.

“Help!!!,” sed he. “Ive fallen and i cant get up!!!”

From above, a “yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” coud be heard.

“Im am frankkkk oooooccewwn.” He seed edgan repeaaayly.

Kafrus, mad at bean forgotten, like the bean DNA she had in her, ( #callback), yelled, “I am teh main charaaaaaaacyetedor!!”

And then Peeweee said “I loaf u.”

“I no!!!” Katcus said, repeating an space war quote.

It was at this moment that the dormant bean jeans inside her was awakeneded by the level of forgotteness. Turing her skin green, much like a shee-hulk, the top of her thighs, along with her torso and biceps, started to expand untel it looked like sge had swallewed multiple yoaga balls.

Content at wonce angen being at tjhe center of atendshun, Kytasissas looked arund, startled to see nothing miles of desserts sourounding heer.

Meanwhile…

Poetas, Gills, and Fnuc Osheen waded thru patella-deep jolteons. Up ahead, a loamy castle loomed loomimnly in the loaming distands. Surunded by clouds, all holding giant swourds, the castle reminded the grouop of a BLR-3 – Sikorsky long-range military bomber plane. Mainly becasues it was shaped like a plane.

As ther neared the floating castle, the drawbridge (which was knida useless tbh cuz you could just go around it) lowered to reavealed a cloud of rainbow smoke, which then faded to reveal a throne made of unicorn skin, which then turned aroud to reveal the almightiny ruler of thees dimenshun.

Gules eyes widened in dibelive of who sat on the bloody carcases of slain ice cream cones.

“Primchose?”  
  
TO BE CONTINUES… 


	3. THEBEST

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finals are finally over and mah brain is mush.

Last time on THE DARKNEESSS…

As ther neared the floating castle, the drawbridge (which was knida useless tbh cuz you could just go around it) lowered to reavealed a cloud of rainbow smoke, which then faded to reveal a throne made of unicorn skin, which then turned aroud to reveal the almightiny ruler of thees dimenshun.

Gules eyes widened in dibelive of who sat on the bloody carcases of slain ice cream cones.

“Primchose?”

* * *

 

It was  a lond winter night. Kathniss was a smnowman. The queen of th meme dimensuion looked down at them from her throne. Behind her, the orchestrra played a morbid tune. tHe voilins humming, the bougusiies and their communist prpoganda schreeching. 

“Nitrogenous quartet!” barked Primmose. “COme here imediateley!”

The bassists hobbled forard, since none of them were strong enough to carry their instruments. They pausesd in front of their queen.

“Adenine, Thymine! Escort these ‘guests’ to our most comfy… rooms.” Pringles commanded. “Cytosine, Guanine, stay with me.”

The bass pairs complied without a word, still lugging their various instruments behind them. 

Katniss and Gail and Peeta they existed still. THey were the ones being lugged by the basses who were also lugging basses behind them. Kantus and Potea stared feerfully at the bases while Glae just glared at them. 

A jail cell suddnenlly apperaed in front of them. The cold gray stone that the cell consisted of was covered in some kind of thick and rigid material. In front of the sell, instead of haveing bsars like a normal cell, there was a thin membrane-like structure covering one surface. 

“Hold on,” said Adnenine. “We need to go find a Transport protein to let yoou guys in.”

Suddenly Thymine srtaitened and began to play [insert famous music piece here]. Adenine joined in but it sounded really weird bucuz there were only two bases. Their bows glided over the strings on the strings vibrated loudly in in the confined space. The grass beneatify their bare feet sung along with the the basees and reached up to them and entwined their blades to form grass shoes. 

Kitniss, Pete and Gall, with their newly aquired chlorophlyll-infused shoes, turned and kicked the bases in there hydrogen bonds. Adenine, with a furious look on it's face, turn to engage in battle with Gule. It reached towrds him, but galle did this really awesome tornado kick thing srtrait to it's phosphorous backbone. 

“ARRGHH,” the base whispered. 

Meanwhile, Kiytis and Poert was occupied with Thymine. Thymine proved to be a challednge, even whem Puytea touched it with his grass slippers. Kitubna snick past behind it and tryed to lick it, but it saw er and turn to grab her tongue. 

Kitnis paused.

It tasteded sweet? Then she relized that Thymine had grubed her tongue with one of it's sugars. Kitnas stared into it's hydrogen bonds and Tthymine stared back. They stared at aeach other for like idk how long. Untill Petra got jealous i guess. Which was pretty soon since Peteas unexpectantly launched himself at tynimne. 

Kastis tastes dirt cake.

When she open her eys she saw that she gad landded face first o the ground as petrer had tackeled the base. They were wrestling a short distance from where she lay. 

She casted her eyes don towrds the dirts again. The ground looked enticing to her and she slowly lowred her head towrds it. She tstuckher tongue out again, wanting to taste the delectable dirt. The pink slipery appendage tentalively touched the ground ansd she was surpiried to finds that the grounf thasted tlike cake. She turned around.

The males were still toussleing on the cake-ground a distance a way. Actually, they were getting farther and farter away as they rolled wtith the bases. 

She took in another mouthful of dirt. 

Suddenly the groulnd split and cracked. The dirt-cake parted to reveal a chasm underneath the cake-ground. The chasm grew and grew until there was a humongous rip through the earth that they may or may not be standing on. Out o the chasm lifted a putrid stench, one that meade her stomack turn. She supposed it was supposed to a a good aroma, but the sheer ammount of it made her nearly gag. 

The tenrils of fog snuck up her nostrils like brain-worms. Angiostrongylus cantonensis, to be specific. Well, thats a lungworm commonly found in rats, but it's still a parasitic nematode. That, and it occasionally infects the brain. Anyways, back to the weaird smoke thing crawling up Kaytis’s nose holes. 

Katisss’s eyes widened as she recognised the stench. The smell had a distinclty sweet note to it, but at the same time almost coppery like blood. She glanced down into the cavern again. There, at the botoom, lay thousands upon thousands of decaying flowers, the bright colors and thorny stem identifying the smell as roses. She was also pretty sure there might be an apache helicopter somewhere down there as well. 

Suddenly the fog parted, and the thick layer of dead roses began to shift. A small mound began to rise out of the flowers, before the roses fell away to reaveal fresh snowy petals. The now giant mound continiued to raise, uncovering emerald green leaves on a pithch black stem. The gargantuan rose lifted itself out to the crevace using it's powxerful leaves and turned to face Kustias. 

She stared at it in awe. The thing was bigger than she had imaginged, each petal on the flower was as long as she was tall. The petals parted, revealing a small object int he center o the bud, 

Katuis reached for it, mesmerised by the colors that swirled int the small object. Her hand made contact, and a shiver ran down er spine. The thinfg felt small and hard between her fingers, a stark contast to the soft and velvetly petals theat once surrounded it. Some kind of stone, she deduced. A very valuble one, that is. The colors wove between each other, emmitting a light that reflected off the walls of the ship. Katttt could feel the power radiating from the small gem. 

An unknow force promted her the take the stone into her own body. 

So she did.

Meaning, she swallowed it. She swallowed it  like a man dying of thrirst would swallow water. Imediately, she could feel the stone’s power coursing through her veins and arteries as well as her capillaries. The fire in her blood only increased as time went on. She collasped to the cake-ground, her legs burning too much to support her weight any longer. 

“What is happening to me?” Kat schreeched.

The rose still hovering over her prone body did not speak, becuase it was a rose, and roses can’t talk. It merely obsevred her lying on the ground, then after a long monment, it rtreated back into the the crack from which it came, disappearing in a matter of secondes, leaving bhind a thick fog that smelled of blood and roses. 

Kasuss continued to writh and scream on the ground. An undrecribable pain began along her spine, buring her like the fire in her blood. The skin along her bagan to split open, leaving long lines of puncture marks that bled, not blood, but sweet sap. Rolling onto her stomach, kantiiis lay panting. Letting out another scream as the holes widened, she reached out to claw at whatever was nearby.

Unfortuenatley, this happened to be the soft body of Pete and Glal, still roling with Thymine and Guanine. They turned towards her with wide eyes. 

“What,” Petete began, unsure of what to make of the scene. even the bases seemed unsure, momnetarily pauseing in the fight to obseved Kaaus. 

Kaatniiiss’s back continued to rip and bleed, but small sharp stems were now protruding from the holes in her skin. The stems grew, until they were twice as long as she was tall. In toaltal, ten thorny, thicc branches protruded from Kata’s back. Exhusted, but still wanting to join in on the fight, she willed herself to stand. To her, and everyone else’s surprise, the branches moved and pushed agianst the cake-ground, until Kaaans was stinting not unlike how a spder would. Seeming undisturbed by her newly found apendges, Katsis commandead one of her branch legs to swing out.

It obeyed, striking Thymine directly in the sugar-phosphate, the sharp thorns easily tearing through the hydrogen bonds.  Ktaat smiled wickedly, and anthor two branch-legs reched out to pound what was left of the base into the cake-ground. 

Nearby, Guanine runs around without purpose, now that it's partnet was nowhere to be found. It ran though a glass window, prsumably to go finnd a Thymine to bond with. 

Kutnus, finally staisfyed with the destruction of the baeses, turned and walked towards Paapa and GAlaa on all ten legs.

“Well,” she said. “What now?”

“We could kill Prommose,” suggested Pepe.

“I refuse to murdur my own sister,” Kaysis snarled down at Popo. “we neend to figure out what is going on.”

Gallee crossed his arms and glared at the other two. “Then maybe we should get off our asses and do something for onece!”

Kaka and Paka turned to Gaka with matching glares. “Oh come on,” they said in unison. “We’re just trying to incorprate more dialogue into this stupid story.”

Galeee sighed, defeated. “Does anyone even read this far?”

“Who cares?” Kitten and Pocket shrugged, still in unison. “Might as well continue to post.”

“Very well,” said Grass. “Let’s go find whereevr Proomroom is, then we can escape.”

Klock and Prock glanced at each other, coming to a silent agreement. Poota aproached Kootniss carefully, then climbed onto ner back, holding on like a baby monkey. They moved towared the smashed window, her branches carfelly avoinding stepping on broken glass scattered on the floor.

Gallade followed, muttering about crazy bean-girls and stupid bread-boys, then cursed violently, hanving stepped on a piece of shattered glass. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone actually read this far?


	4. ha.

lol, is this 10 characters yet?


	5. All hope has been lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I refuse to let this story die

 

The trio catiously stepped over the shards of shattered glass on the floor, emerging on the other side of te destroyed doorway. As Katat passed an especially large piece of glass, she glaned in it's direction and caught a glimse of her reflection. The dark circles under her eyes stood out like Abe Lincoln at a house party against her pale, ashen skin, which was marred and speckeled with dried spots of blood. Her hair, sheared short at some point during this story, had begun to t urn gray at the roots, probabababy a side effect of those wierd plants genes (beans, and now roses). Â Â Â Â 

 

It was at this moment, that I realized: I am just some random kid, sitting in a dark room where the only source of light is my computer, surrounded by mountains of what I can only assume to be discarded wrappers. 

 

Sometimes I wonder, where will this lead me? What could have been created, in place of this monstrosity? How many accomplishments could have been achieved? Look outside, tell me what you see. Donâ€™t just point your eyes in the general vicinity, truly look, and tell me what you see. Itâ€™s quite surreal, isnâ€™t it? 

 

People look, but they donâ€™t see. They listen, but they donâ€™t hear. Whoâ€™s to say you arenâ€™t they same? Do you speak, but forget to listen? Maybe you hear everything, but forget you have a voice. â€œWhat difference can one person make,â€� you say. 

 

Perhaps, in the grand scheme of things, you are a mere speck, forgotten not long after you disintegrate into nothingness. The universe is a vast place, and a single person cannot undo the threads of time. For now, there is nothing you can do but exist. And when you finally cease to exist, everyone is going to move on with with their lives, billions of perspectives youâ€™ll never be able to see. In the end, you will be added to the long list of forgotten people. Â 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


We have to stop this madness/â€¦.

  
  



	6. The dark lord returns

Kantica was playing mystic passenger, a plane simulator game, on her phone when Petta bursted into the room. 

"Kanti....I think im an eggnut"


	7. Wow it looks like they let us make this title really darn long, i wonder exactly how long AO3 allows this to be, and I am truly amazed now since I'm only a third of the way through my characters, although i must say that this is a ridiculously long title.

Kutkut turned to stare at PeetPeet. “What…,” she asked.

 

There was no one there.

 

A sudden voice sounded beside her, “Now, Ms. Everbean. Let’s start with talking about your dreams.” 

 

Kiiit jumped, and landed on a plush laid back sofa thing, with mountains of blanket surrounging her, also with like  a ton of pillows. A man sat in a chair besid her, holding a notepad and a pen, and wear some wierd round glasses. He had a beard and mustashe too. He had teath. 

 

“What?” Katune repaeted.

 

The man sighed. “No rush, Ms eveream, take your time. I know traumatic experiences such as your may take time to heal, but the best way of getting better is be talking about it.” He smiled and all of his teath stared at her with their gleeming white eyes. She felt like puking.

 

Kasdfg noticed the man had a strange accent, and she could not focus on anything but. 

 

“Perhaps,” he murmured gently, “you would like to take  a more… scientific… aproach?”

 

She nodded, mesmerised by the alluring tome of his voices. 

 

“Wonderful,” he hissed. “Just sign your names here.”

 

He pointed to a thick stack of pepers which lied on the table, seeming to appear out of thin air. “Can’t violate those ethical rights, now, can we?” 

Still enchanted to the sound of his voice, Kjusts scrawled her name sloppily acrcoss the papers, taking at least three pages for every letter in her name.

 

He stood abruply. 

 

“DOCTORS!” he screeched violently. His moth expanding into a large undefined sphere of teath. It snapped shut in a moment. He grinned again and everything was fine. “Teath” he smiled softly. 

 

At once, a horde of white-clad humanoid creatures spilled from the previously unnoticed doors, wheeling with them several literal tonnes of equiptment. Some had several arms. Some had several eyes, but most of them had teath. The floor creacked and groaned from the weight of the various tubes and pipes. 

 

Kuytin could feel her heart rate rapidly increase, and her breathing deepen. Her palms began to feel sweaty, and her eyes darted aroung the room as she started to hyperventalate. 

 

“Please, Ms. Evveenn, your glucocorticoid levels are starting to rise. We must not overstimulate your adrenal glands, if we can help it.” The strange man gave what he probably thought to be  a reassuring smile. It just looked like a grinning shark actually. It was his teath. Not that i don’t like sharks. I love sharks. I just don’t like this starnge predatory man. 

 

Me neither\ dude...  

 

She felt a sharp prik on the arm. When she looked down, she saw a large needle protruding from her arm. It had to be at least 7.39 inches in diameter. Yes. That sounds about right. 

 

A cool glowing liqiud ran down the length of the needle, and Klatpat shivered violently aas she felt it enter her mixture of plasma and cells. She felt her limbs slowly grew heavy, and soon she could’nt move her arms and legs at all.

 

“Screaming.  Generalized Screaming.” I stood up. Kitkat was on the floor and the fanfiction writer stood next to her. Staring up at me. The knife glinted in the light. 

 

“I guess we know who has been killed the dystopian novel characters now.” I said. Taking off my glasses. 

 

The writer cocked their head like an owl. “Who?” They asked. 

 

“George R. R. Martin.” Music from seemingly nowhere started playing and we all froze as the credits rolled over our faces. 

 

“NO NO NO NO NO!” a banshee-like schreech sounded from across the room. The man, finally gotten over his confusion, stormed arcross the room towards me. He waved his hands furiosly to dispell the words still scrolling across the screen. A few landed in his mane-like hair. A horse’s mane, not a lion. No, that would be too obvious. I will make him horse-like instead. 

 

“THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!” he turned to me, who then turned to the fanfiction writer, who then turned back to the weird man. Our connected eyes formed a trinangle, the perfect shape to summon a demon (or several). The air began to hum with mystical energ-

 

“STOP IT ALREADY!” the man, who had by now been identified as Siggy Freud, yelled. 

 

“WE ARE A SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY HERE AT THIS FACILITY!” the veins on his head poped out dangerously, his face slowly morphing from a vivacious crimson to a deep rich purple. His heavy panting was the only thing that can be heard throughout the near silent room. He bared his ridiculously sharp teeth at me.

 

“Careful now,” I told him. “Don’t want high cortisol levels, do we?”

 

“Yea,” the fanfiction writer piped in. “Don’t overwork your adrenal glands. Might lead to hippocampal cell death.”

 

The white-clad humanoids, who still have not left the room, hid their giggles behind their hands. Those who did not have a hand borrowed one from a neighbor. 

 

Siggy was now really damn angry. He was being made a fool of, so in order for him to save what was left of his identity, he did the only thing he was good at.

 

“Doctors,” he said in an eerily quiet voice. “Strap the patients down.”

 

The color-lacking humanoids moved quickly and effeciently, and in less than a mnute, the fanfiction writer, me, and a still-paralyzed Ketais were all straped down to several steel tables. 

 

“Very good,” Siggy said. “Very good indeed.” 

 

He rotated roughly 360 degrees, but when he faced the tables once more, he saw that two of them were empty. Confused, he looked up, and was faced with with the dismembered bodies of his mutated henchmen. The fanfiction author and I stood above the bodies,triumpahnt grins upon our faces.

 

“Fool,” we whispered in perfect synchronicity. “We are all powerfull. You can not stop us.” 

 

And whith that wonderful parting note, we disapeared in a flash of blinding light. When everything settled, I turned to the author beside me. 

 

“Should I feel bad for leaving Katniss there?” I mumbled. She looked at me with an incredulous look, and we both bursted out laughing. “Nah,” we said, and turned to look down on the scene unfolding beneath us. “It’ll be fine.”

  
  



	8. sometimes I wonder if there is a god. Are we alone in the universe, and is life just a pointless serious of events thaty not worthy of love, or is love just a dull chemical to create more meaning life that then dissipates into memories that no one with .

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mmyes mommy

Ka opening her teeth and clenched her eyes open. 

It was all a bad dream. 

She flew out of the window, still wondering what the strange dream meant. As she flapped her legs like a lizard that was injected with high doses of morphine, she saw a bottle walter on the ground. Like a good citizen, she swooped down to pick it up. 

A good citizen always reduces, reuses, and recycles.

Bicycle. 

As she picked it up, a bird hissed at her. 

“Oh hai mark” tommy wiseau said. 

Kurianipepepepeppeepeeee stepped on the bird. 

A good citizen always reduces, reuses, and recycles.

Bicycle.


	9. Chapter 9

“Let the 1845 elections begin!” That one guy with the blue hair (I think his name is Cinema) exclaimed, turning to Peter who was the basic nominee for the 1845 presidency. “So Peter, can you explain what the function of one hormone is on human behavior?”

Peter smiled with an all-knowing gleam, turning to Cinema in a collected demeanor. “One hormone which affects human behavior is a hormone which deeply affects the behavior of a person that is caused by a hormone which produces alterations in the behavior of a human,” Peter responded eloquently, earning the ecstatic cheers of everyone in the crowd, including Carl.

“You are such a good boy, yesh you are .” Cinema patted Peter on the head, as the highly intelligent man began to bark uncontrollably at the compliment.

From the backstage, Katniss could feel her heartbeat racing, carefully watching Peter act like a demented canine who just gotten neutered and injected with dextroamphetamine saccharate. Her worst fear was manifesting itself right in front of her, blocking her thoughts completely, and sending her body into a state of total numbness. This couldn't be happening . Carl reassuringly puts a hand on her shoulder as an attempt to comforted her. “The capital is controlling him….they’ve turned him into their pet. We can’t let them win, Katniss.”

Katniss swallowed, the words becoming stuck in her throat like a fat gummy worm. “I know we have to save him. That madman... Freud ...did this to him.” She whispered, turning to catch a glimpse of Carl. He was gone.

Must have been the Adderall , she thought.

“And now, for the acidic candidate… kantounis everw ead” Cinema exclaimed as his throat began closing, and he could not breathe. That horrendous pronunciation had permanently slit his throat, and now he was going to die,

Cinema had a flashback to his childhood…

And so, he felt his earliest memories coming back…

They were bittersweet, like the smell of morning sap melting in an earthly bliss…all the while, those memories were ebbing in slow, calm movements. He could see his mother, smiling. “Dinner's ready!” She exclaimed, preparing a hot bowl of stew that felt kind and warm, like mittens near a fireplace. He remembered going to school for the first time and socketing that one kid who kept drawing chalk bunnies outside his sidewalk. Tommy. What a little bitch, Cinema contemplated. He remembered his first piano lessons… he especially remembered mistaking a c# for D, which resulted in Cinema getting his wrists broken by his furious mentor. That month he played the piano with flimsy, broken wrists, having fingers that moved clumsily across each note, replicating the screams of every damned soul found in hell. He remembered his adolescence, being the pinnacle of his rebellious stage. His hair started turning blue like that of an anime character, which was the first sign of puberty in males.

He remembered graduating from college and getting a degree.

As Cinema gurgled and relived his entire life an instant, Katniss sat down next to Peter and looked him in the eyes. “I’m going to win this election...for you.. .for us. ”

Peeta barked like an old, rugged dog.

Katis swallowed at his response, feeling sweat rolling down her forehead. “I know you want to win, but the capital is only using you. Peter, I care for you.”

“Bark” Peter barked again, quite literally.

Karuto bit her lip, trying to focus on the debate at hand. The tension was growing high, and the whole crowd was cheering for Peter. She cleared her throat and stood up, opening her high school diary to entry no.56. “Back at home, I never eased up on simply leaving the house with a simple task in mind, such a buying groceries or repairing that flickering light bulb that hung dully over our kitchen counter. I always carried the belief that a closed, uneventful mind is the crux for a slow, lethargic burn, left to be dismantled with the horror of a heedless existence.”

Katniss was reading her emo diary. She stared directly into the crowd, fearless.

“As I made my way past the leaf crusts scattered around the coppery city of England, I saw a bird attacking a woman, its claws curled around the thin strands of her windswept hair, pulling her towards the freeway road. Her explosive screams of agony held an innate sense of relief as she realized I was there, watching her struggle with a calm, expressionless face. She cried for help as her distance to the freeway became alarming close, grasping for any sign of safety in the arms of the calamitous, bloody death that awaited her. Then...she looked at me, eyes filled with the petty realization that I would not help her. Moments later, a car hit her with the force of what seemed like gentle death, the sound of the rib cage freeing the heart the soul, the mind; a breakage filled with the beauty of anguish, drowning in the sensibility of life- but for what? What did she want, her eyes so pleading before her moment of death? I could not comprehend why we alone kept breathing when the earth had stopped its diligent movements. Her corpse laid there, littering the streets with a damp, coppery smell. It was angelic. It made me my stomach churn from hunger.”

She held her breath, waiting for a negative reaction that never came. Suddenly a person in the middle of the crowd stood up and held the two-fingered mocking jay symbol thing. Everyone else stood up, inspired by her gracious story. Even Cinema, who was currently on the verge of sudden death, stood up with pride.

Peeta began wagging his tail like a dog who had to take a huge shit but wasn't allowed to defecate on the household carpet.


	10. I AM 300

Kaaaaaa slowly felt the feeling return to her limbs, but she still couldn’t move for some reason? Ah yes, she was still strapped down to that table by none other than good ‘ole Siggy Freud. She didnt understand what was going on. Where was Peeeeet? Where was Gaaaaaal? I want ice cream so badly right now.

 

The mad doctor Siggy Freud was probably still here somewhere, but hes not really important right now. All you need to know is that Siggy is about to inject some stuff into Kiiaattis to make her forget stuff.

 

“That’s right, love,” he purred into your ear. He held up a small syringe fill with some sort of clear fluid. “This is scopolamine. Looks fairly harmless, and in small doses it can be used to treat motion sickness and nausea. Up the dosage, however, and it could easily erase your recent memory.”

 

You could feel the confusion begin to pool in your belly. “What good could that possiby do?” you pondered.

 

He turned to you and smiled, all malice and no warmth. Clifford the big red dog stared deep into my soul. “Well, you see,” he began. “Scopolamine make to patient much more… easily persuaded.”

 

“Mind control,” you whispered, horrified. “That’s impossible!”

 

His predatory grin stretched wider. “Nothing is truly impossible, my dear. It's all just science.”

 

He began to pace the room, clearly enjoying his impromptu rant. “The chemical scopolamine blocks specific receptors in the brain’s synapses, preventing acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter that aids in memory formation, to bind to the correct receptor.”

 

You could feel the drool running from the corners of your mouth as your brain slowly shuts down, not wanting to partaking in this scientific nonsense. Somewhere from the back of your mind, you realize the Siggy was still talking. 

 

“...and through reasoning of logic, we can assume that studies done on animals such as rats, mice, and pigs can serve as a model for the human body, considering that the animal’s and human’s physiology are similar enough. I mean, you wouldn’t use a mushroom to test the behavior differences in people, would you? We are simply too far apar…”

 

You could now feel your brain turing to mush as it despreatly tried to comprehend the info,and failing soetacularly. But seriously tho, i really want sum ice cream. 

 

Oh right, Kuutis is till here. Yes. so the paralyzing poison finally wore off and now she was trying to break free of the things she was tied down with. She bent her head dwn to sniff at it.huh. Turns out it was a really giant poece of seaweed. Now,to get out of it. 

 

It was at this momnet that Kuisoa remembered her roots. She was tough, she was strong, and most importantly, she had thorns. Callng to the dormant plant genes deep inside her chromosomes, she willed her arm to grow spiky thorns, true like the rose that swam through her blood. She easily ripped through the seaweed. Oh god please someone get me ice cream already.  

 

She looked towards Siggy Freud, who was still pacing and ranting about neurotransmitters. Beside him, on the floor, lay a warrm pile of mush, probably an unfortuate soul who tried to understand what he was talking abput. 

 

The unites states should give back california to Mexico, you thieves. I am a whiggian, and i wiggle. Watch me wiggle,  wiggle. 


	11. Welcome Chekhov

Alas, it continues

  
The night was, is, and will be young. Suddenly Popo burst through the wall. Shame, really. It was actually quite a nice wall. Behind him, Primroose rode in atop of what seems to be an animated yellow sponge. The sponge wore caveman-like clothing and donning a beard.

“NOW MY FAITHFUL BOB OF SPONGE,” Roseprim burped. “LEAD US INTO VICTORY, NEVER TO SURRENDER TILL THE END IS NIGH!”

Both Kytlys and Peeat looked at her strangely. Even our main man Siggy Freud looked mildly confused.

SUdenly Galeelee dropped through the ceiling-window-hole, falling on Frued and effortlessly snapped his neck. Freud’s eyes rolled back into his head and Goul could see white bone sticking out of the former’s neck muscles.

Rinkpose turned around and threw up her lunch. A few pieces of lettuce floated down genlty while bread, which was much heavier, fell to the floor with a wet-sounding plop.

Katkat stared at Pinkroom, looking perplexed. “Where did you get that sandwhich?”

“I had it with me,” Inkprose shrugged.

“And you decided to throw it at the wall?”

“It seemed appropriate,” pOsepink replied.

Kniss let the subesct dropp, turning her attention to Peea, who wass now dragging his buttt on the the metal floor.

Gales saw as well, and started toward Peooa.

He paused.

Slowly twisting is neck to look at Kisskiss, he tucked his hands under his armpits and began to flap his hands wildly.

He managed to get nearly 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146549585371050792279689258923542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960518707211349999998372978049951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253490428755468731159562863882353787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611195909216420198938095257201065485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968995773622599413891249721775283479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637 oranges off the ground before falling hard and landing on his back. Unfazed, he righted himself and stateded to peck at the graound in jerky movements, still madly flapin his arms.

His face his something hard. Gal looked up, furious and ready to destroy whatever had interrupedt his pecking session. There as nothign to be seen, leaving im to concluded that he just smashed his beak-less face into the ground too hard.

  
Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetw 4356 waa then swalaloewd by claiftrpa. It happpeneid e so hast that he didt een realiz it. Karkn ehg sjcl a I r3aling od pt why i cam wiritihng thi mami having a sotng .

Nvm im ok now. Right. Back to whatever we were talking about.

Gae looked just in time to meet Pee’s warm brown soulless eye. Their gaze burned with the passion of a thousand french artists, and their breaths puffed tiny clouds into the freezing air. The snow crunched beneath their feet, leaving fresh crisp footprints behind.

“Woof,” Peer quietly mummlbed into Geel’s neck.

“CLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUKKK CLUCKCLUCKCLUCKCLUCKCLUCK!” Gama schreeched bac at him.

The two boy-men continue to cliuck and woof at each other for the good half of an hour. Photosynthesis is the process in which plants use energy from the sun to create molecules of glucose, which then breaks down in the process of cellular respiration into useable energy. The equation for photosynthesis is 6CO2 + 6H2O —> C6H12O6 + 6O2, while the equation for cellular respiration is 6CO2 + 6H2O —> C6H12O6 + 6O2. Note that these equations are not balanced.

On a totally unrelated note, the study on Paititnet HM states that is brain was removed. More specifically, the hippo ran off of his campus. This resulted in a situation much like when your girlfriend runs away from you… she takes all the memories away and you vant seem to make new ones. MRI scans, also called magnetic ressonce imaging, helped show how the brain was affected by departure of his hippo. The hippo then ran away to live a happy life with all the wrong friends in all the right places.

The

Hey Im laura I hacked henrys account

Neat.

Off to the side, bpth Gool and Pool were sitll locked in an instense, heated gaze. Unfortunately, at that very moment, a large tyranosuarus rex bursted hrough the floor and ate our good friend Siggy Freud. And that marks the end of our dear psychotic psychiatrist. With everyone finally safe, it was time to do a headcount.

Katnusss looked around, and her gaze finally fell onto the people around her. Still a bit disoriented from from the previous events, she wasnt sure if there wer three people in front of her or six. It also didnt help that the self-cleaning room was tring to do its thing. Bits of crumpled wall shifted back into place, and debris on the ground was slowly but steadily absorbed from existence. After several seconds, the room was as clean and spartan as any docotor’s office, complete with a sense of dread and forboding.

With a sudden crackle, every light source in the room when dim. Moonlight streamed onto the floor through the chipped panes of glass, and the floor was bathed in writhing shadows. Beside her, Peetah sniveled and begged for his life, like the coward that he is. Actually Goul waasnt doing much better. The two boy-men hugged and grasped at each other like two halves of a clam shell.

“Oh you two, pull your shellves together,” Primrim sneers down at er feet, where the boy-men still grovel.

Sudden;y, a loud pop echoed throught the room. A lagre steel table appears in the middle of space, its dull steel finsh glinting ominously in the moonliight. Katnick aproached caushushly, not wanting to die at this moment and time. Woulnt it be funny if she was killed by a table, am i rite/ After all this time, to-

The table turned and bounced, landing directly on Kanuos’s back. A lound crunch could be heard as her vertabrea popped from ther propper placing. Quiets gasped filled the air as Pinkorse, Gasd, and Pert took in the scene.

Pomrook walk shakily forward, eyes glassy for her seemimgly dead sister. As she got closer, she could make out a single object on the cold surface of the table. Picking it up with trembling hands, Primseor imediatly recognized it as a gun. And, engraved neatly onto the barrel, was a sinlge name.

Chekhov.

 


	12. So Juicy

Pinkyflower wept bitterly over the shattered corpse of her sister. By the pale rays of light streaming through the windows, she could see the blood drip from the slits in Kat’s fractured back. Katerack’eyes snacked open as she was wide awakem. She could snese it with ever microhair on her body.  The darkness was here. Katriss was an autotrouphy.  Autotroph (primary producer) \- an organism that can use the energy from sunlight to produce its own food. Includes green plants, algae, and cyanobacteria. Ktarnesz’s body flailed across the hallway like a ragdoll as her mandable ate all the cyanobacteria in view. 

  
  


\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------=-=-=-0-0----------------------

  
  


The skies were dusted with puffy clouds of morning air, like dried urination left on the rim of a toilet bowl. My dad arrived to the ballroom late, aware that the party had already begun without his presence. He walked up the fancy mansion stairs and knocked on the door. 

 

The door snapped opened and president Snow’s neck slowly protruded out like a worm that had been forced to leave its home because long rain seasons had flooded the land in which it lived in and now he had lost his house and his insurance was unresponsive so he had to give the custody of his children to Margaret, his alcoholic wife who believed vaccines caused artistic tendencies in infants and did not protect the children against ebola, which then caused the children to contract said virus and die, causing Margaret to commit suicide by going out into the desert and letting a giant hawk consume her. 

 

“hello i'm here for the party?” My dad repealed. 

 

President snow dropped an eyebrow and his voice rose seven octaves higher. 

  
  


“Ä̷̧̯̰̬͔͓̞̳̠̳̟̝́͂͊̔̽̔̽ẖ̵̛̲̃̽͗̈́̓̽̍̕͜͠ ̶̡̛̤̯̟͕̖̝͈̯͚̫̤̲͑͆̋́̈́̒̎͌̍̾̄̿̚h̷͎͕̲̘̰̣̰̩̥̪͓̦͓͖̐͗ȩ̷̨̨̨̞̯̜̪̼̝̜͙̽̈́̇̃̐̋̿̀̀͘̚͘͝l̶̠͇̈́̏͋̎̍̒̏͝l̵̙̟̥̻̈̋͐̚̕̕͘͝͠͠ͅǫ̴̢̼̼̖̤̦͔̫͛̅̑͗̈̓̾̿̀͘͘͜͜ ̶̡̨̙̲̙̜̞̠͈͙͚̞̙̜̬͐̈́͂̕g̴̗̹̯͇͕̥̝̫̰̜͉̹̈́̋̌̈́̀̆͂́̄ǫ̷̙̖͇͉̗͖̺͎͉̭̠̝̆̄́͊̒͋̃́̐͜o̵̡̝̖̫̳̮͆d̴̙̹̤͇̺̾̈́̀̎̑̑̄͑̿̋͘͝ͅ ̷͍͈̎̎̔͆͛̈́̄s̶̢͎̙̲̹̞̟͉̤̞̰̫͉̅̕͝i̴͈̯̠͉͉̪̙͖̬̠̮̜̇̈́̚ͅr̶̨̯̣̫̺̟͔̬̹̝̽́͊͐̋͒͆̍ ̸̫͇̤̲̜̤́͗͗̋͋̐̑͝” 

 

̰

 

“I know what o

 

“The cognitive level of analysis aims to study in depth the various processes of the mind, and how cognitive processes influence behaviour. In order to evaluate the cognitive level of analysis, emotion must be thoroughly examined to correlate its cognitive influences. Emotions are complex feelings that can be manifested in physiological and psychological changes, most notably in behavior. Memory is a cognitive process that is connected to the amygdala and the hippocampal complex. It can be influenced by high levels of emotional stimuli. One theory that links these two factors together is called a “Flashbulb Memory” (FBM for short), which can be defined as a highly detailed and vivid memory that arises from a highly emotional experience, distinctively the emotional state of surprise. An FBM tends to be personal and there are certain aspects of the memory that can be accurately recalled, thus affecting the cognitive process of memory. These factors include location, activity, communication, affect, and the aftermath of the emotional situation, which in turn can all be recalled with explicit accuracy, but the reliability of the memory details remain questionable. FBM is a prominent type of memory and is different from those that are learned from repetition (rehearsal). “ 

 

As they entered the party together, my dad and president snow made a beeline towards the food table, te crowd dutifully separating themselves for their queen. As Peeta neared the table overflowing with delectables from every corner of the erth, the smells flooded his nose, causing his vision to slowily fade to white in the corners of his vision, only distanly registering the concerned chirps of mah man Pres Snow. His senses were overwhelmed with with the brightly obnoxious colors in front of him. He reached towards the food, only to snatch his hand back towards him as he noticed the tremors. 

 

His teeth clicked as he snapped his mouth closed, unaware to when his jaw had dropped at all. Turning away from the table, he inhaled deeply to calm himself, and later on when he thought back to this moment, he realized what a terrible mistake that had been. His nose was once again flooded with a thousand different aromas, each more enticing than the last. His muscles twitched as he held himself in place, forcing his clenched buttcheeks to relax. A low rumble sound deep in his belly, and his muscles involuntarily tensed again. Against his best efforts, a small toot left his traitorous body. He hastily shoved a hand through his tousled hair, making an effort to look as nonchalant as possible. 

 

He looked up from under his eyelashes, peeking at the other party guests milling about. His entire left leg shook as he let out a breath, making a vibrating noise against the polished stone floor. He glanced down at it with distaste, a bitter feeling overcoming just as a man in a white apron shuffled past him carrying a large silver platter. Peetta’s eyes followed the man, his sharp gaze taking in every admittedly delicious detail. 

 

He swallowed hard. 

 

His breath came to him shallowly once again, although for completely different reasons this time. He jumped up quickly and followed the man, not wanting to let him out of sight. As he came closer, the man turned to him and offered a bright smile.

 

“Hello, sir,” the man’s smooth, rich voice surrounded him. “How may I be of service?”

 

With a smirk that would make any fuckboi proud, Peeta leaned in a whispered, “I think you already know.”

 

Confusion marred the servant’s face, and Peeta raised an eyebrow, casting him a look. The servant blushed with embarrassment as he finally realized his mistake. 

 

“Of course, sir!” the servant sputtered as he pointed a pale finger. “Help yourself.”

 

Peeta’s eyes followed to pointed finger, and shivered in delight as warmth pooled in his belly in anticipation. He licked his lips, and slowly reached out a hand to grab the thickest, juiciest burger on the platter. He stared at it, not truly believing that he held this delicious morsel in his fingertips. Out of the corner of his eyes, he vaguely noticed the servant standing awkwardly with an uncomfortable look on his face, but he ignored the man, and lowered his face until the burger was near his parted lips. 

 


	13. The Zucc

He couldn't take it anymore. He teasingly leaned in, about to take a mouth watering bite when the burger suddenly vanished into obscurity in his bare, trembling hands. He watched it dissipate into nothingness, fingers grasping the air in a desperate attempt to get it back.

* * *

  
Staring at the empty space between his fingers, Peetaa felt the early beginnings of despair grow underneath the area next to his lungs. Fingers shaking, he felt a single teardrop streak down his check, leaving a dusty trail on his porcelain skin. Behind him, the sound of heavy footfalls thundered as a firm hand landed on his right shoulder. Wincing, Peert turned to face the man standing at his back.

Eyes still rimmed red and breaths still shaky, Pertya whispered, “Glal?”

The man in question smiled wistfully before responding, “Yes, I am definately Galee, the most handsome man to ever exist in the history of Pannem. Women bow at my feet and men sacrifice roses in my name.”  
The last few words were stated dramatically, draw the attention of a few bystanders. With his hand still and Peewa’s shoulder, Gaaaaa sighed dramatically. “What a terrible curse of which i have been given! I am haunted by visions of a man, a man who sings of his life, his wife, and his stryfe!”

Peetaas could feel the confusion in his chewst quickly being replaced by annoyance, the pit of anger steadily growing. “Glaale!” he whispered violently, dropletts of spittle spraying in Glalc’s general direction. “Are you drunk right now? In veiw for President Flow?”

“No, young one, I an not drunk, though I would not object to a few glasses of fine whiskey now and then.”

Perty looked at Glae incredulously. “You’ve gone insande!” He attempted to lead Goul away from the crowd without much success, Geer’s obsceenly long claw-like fingernail digging into the flesh of his forearm.

Grael sputtered indignatly before shouting, “how dare you handle me in such a manner?” Heads from the crowd tured as Geare wobbled unstably back to the middle of the dancefloor. “My name is Alexandire Hamintol I said to myself as I was walking to the tall building where the room i was walking in was at in that location that I was walked into the room as I had open the door and closed it behind me when i went into the room which i was currently located.”

He continued to stumble awkwardly between the surprised dancers, pushing people out of the way when they refused to move. Umm.. Oh wait no. he starts writing federalist papers out of nowhere. Are you actually typing this. No, no stop it. Hey you wanna know my social security number, its 688, wow you’re totally not writing what i’m saying? The pamphlet isn’t due today is it? It shouldn’t be. He began to stumble awkwardly between the surprised dancers, pushing people out of the way when they refused to move. Conception. Im triggered. Bwahahaha. Heheh *types furiously* Blaaauegh. *insert throat slitting gesture here* *insert betrayed look here* hehhuhuebuehuehu hueh hnnn hhhhhhhhhhhhhnnn *snorts* hahahahaha  
*Snorts* *UNACO  
*INHALES*

BOI

He stumble awkwardly between the surprised dancers, pushing people out of the way when they refused to move. HE SHOVEED THEM WITH HIS MASSIVE HEAD. The hairy one. The one ladies like. I like trains ksjwell no *weeeeeeeerrrrrrrrnngngggg* dude stop we shouldn't fight each other. The petters stumble awkwardly between the surprised dancers, pushing people out of the way when they refused to move. He passed his ear against the concrete, trying to hear the earth’s core.

“Oh, gloriuous earth. Gloriuos mother earth,” he stumble awkwardly between the surprised dancers, pushing people out of the way when they refused to move. Breaking through the crownd of people, Grael spotted petterrs standing at a swan-shaped pool table filled with delicate delectables. Petters ate some Zucchini.

Grale turned petters into a zucchini, then proceeded to turn 360 dgrees, all the while casting dark magic out of his fingertips. “Yessssssssssss,” he hissed. “It has finally begun. Now we may mobilize, my brethren.”

Around him, the unpresuming party-goers began to fall one by one, turning into a specific elongated vegetable sometimes used in soups and stir-fries.

“What?” One of the zucchini (now on the floor) questioned. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh yessssssssss,” Geaaal’s snake-like whisper echoed through the zucchini filled ballroom. “Soon, the world will be mine. I have waited too long for this. Ive been planning this for many many years, watching as the people go by, unconcerned with their immediate fate. Finally, finally the pieces fall together, and my time has come to reign as rightful ruler. All you peasant shall bow down at my feet and beg for mercy.”

Out from darkness of the shadows came a single shout: “Boo you suck”

Gaassle whipped around, righteous fury emblazoned in his slitted golden eyes. “Silence, petty mortal!” His hand flew to neck, sharpened claws hooking into the skin on his neck. In one sharp movement, he swept his hands up, peeling the skin from his face and leaving the discarded flesh on the floor.

One of the zucchinis on the floor (presumably Peetpeeta ) swiveled to get a better look at Galea’s face, now peeled like a grape. “Oh,” it said. “Let me get this straight. You disguised yourself as a district 12 boy for how long? Just to plan something that no one even knows about?”

Not-Gall blinked owlishly, seeming offended at Zucchini-Peetah’s question. “What?” he smirked. “Do you not know who i am? I have waited hundreds of years, seen to the fall of an empire and the rise of Panem”

“Oh, i know who you are,” said Zucchini-Prerta. “Youre that Mark Suckerburger guy. An author, i think?” The other zucchinis in the room vibrated in silent laughter.

“It’s Zuckerberg, you uncultuered fool!” Once-Gale-but-now-Mark snarled furiously. As suddenly as his anger came to him, it dissapeared just as quickly. Now calm, Mark turned back to face his audience of mixed vegetables (There were a few eggplants in there too). “No, stupid humans. I would not stoop so low to live among you. Your friend Gaale is very much alive, at least to the last of my knowledge. I just… distracted… him while i borrow his appearence.”

Zucchini-Paarte rotated to follow Mark Suckerburger as he stalked in tight circles around the room. “Ah, how did you adapt to human behaviors so easily?”

“I admit, it was not easy. Especially in the begining, when people still suspected. Its beed many years, though and i adapt quickly.” Mark turned on his heel and marched towards the door. “Well, its been fun, but the plans wait for no one. Shame that you weren’t more of a use” He grasped the door handle in his clawed hands and yanked, but instead of opening, the entire wall fell forwards, crushing Mark and a few vegetables in the process.

From the dust stood two silhouettes, one noticably taller than the other. An tangle of sharp, thorn-covered vines emerged from the smaller figure’s back, growing and moving in unison like the legs of a very floral spider. The vines manuvered deftly over the rubble, the person’s feet not touching the ground once.

“What’d i miss?” the shorter figure snarked, shifting into the light to reveal, in all of her pristine glory, Katunis. 


	14. Behold the Elven Kind

“What’d i miss?” the shorter figure snarked, shifting into the light to reveal, in all of her pristine glory, Katunis.

 

She was wearing a dark red Brazilian costume, with poofy feathers decorating the straps.

 

 

  
“H̸̢̼̦̝̞̙̞͕̳̣̔́̂͐́̃̕͘̕ͅͅẽ̵̛̗̜̥̲͚͛̈́́̔̀͛͛͆͐͠ ̶̮̼̈́̅̓̏̓͌̿͊̑̑̿̐͐͘z̴̧̧͙͔͕̰̺̫̻̍̎̅͝͠ȗ̷̢̙̹̫̹̺͇͕̝̝̹͍̻̆̌͜͝ç̴̥̠̩̣̤͉̫̜̠̺̝̰̊͜ͅc̶̰͓̮͚͓̍̀̒e̵̙͈̬̹̙͉̼̞̦̬̮̮̍̔d̶̢̪̯̩̦̆ ̷͎͈̜͍͍̬͇̾́͛̊̑̆̄̚͝ͅG̷̭͚͔̯̩̮͖̟͍̻̣̞̃̋̋̀̽͑̂̍̅́́͗̃̀͌ą̸̛͎̃̄͌̿͛̉͛͋͊͆̀̈́̕͠ͅļ̶̹̩̥̥̙̠̠͍̹̱͖̝̪̱̽̑̈́̀͐̕ȩ̸̧̳̼͚̗͙͉͔̮̮͍̝͇̇̈́̎

 

 

  
She whispered loudly, picking up the Petters zuchichi and shoving him into her pocket. He screamed.

The zucc’s body floated up from the rubbles because i said so.The Zucc’s lips quirked into a malicious smile, laughing under his breath.

“You can't stop me, I'm free, no fee, i need to pee” he rapped, glaring at the Kanternensea.

Kashish smirked, summoning a clone of herself from the sky. “You’re right… I can’t… but Kansas 2.0 can.” The anniss 2.0 smirked, summoning a clone of herself from the sky. “… I can’t… but Kansas 3.0 can.” ” The knights 3.0 smirked, summoning a clone of herself from the sky. “… I can’t… but Kansas 4.0 can.”

Zucc’s smile quickly disappeared, face turning pale with dread. He grabbed his phone, dialing 911 and running away.

“Hello, you've reached the Borking company”

  
Zucc gripped the phone tighter, reptilian fingers trembling with fear. “Musket, We found her. Your unfinished robot that escaped the laboratories years ago…”

  
The Muskrat crawled out of a sewer, smiling eviling. “Well turn her to our side…. She will lead the android revolution…”

  
Zucc swallowed harshly, grabbing a glass of water and slurping it loudly. He zucced it mercilessly.

The darkness was near…

\------d---------------------d--d-d-d-d--d-------------3-3-3--3----d-d--d-f--s--d-----------o

  
Prime had somehow found a time traveling device, which could send her 25 seconds into the past. She used it for food. She repeated eating a burrito over and over, the burrito regenerating with each travel click. Her infinity burrito tasted good in every first bite. After a total of 12 hours repeating the action, she got bored, and threw the burrito out the window, falling into somes face and killing them. She perked her head out of the window, watching a man die in front of her. She shrugged and watched suicide squat for the 3453th time.

\---------------------------------------------------

Kanter sighed in relief as the Zucc disappeared into the void, taking the screaming petters off her pocket and tossing it into her mouth. She chewed leisurely as the letters screaming slowly died down. Her eyes widened as she realized what she had done.

  
Shed forgot to salt her vegetables before eating them. It was at this point that Grass reappeared in time and space, holding up a picture of some good bois.

░▄▀▄▀▀▀▀▄▀▄░░░░░░░░░  
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“Hello im here on behalf of the borking company,” he stated ominously.

“Galilee?” Karpin whispered. “Why are you doing this?”

Her pocket vibrated and what was left of Pitta’s zucchini fell out. “Don’t do this Gelaa,” he gurgled, the works barely recognizable because he was missing half of his vegetable vocal cords. “Don’t turn to the Zucc side.”

“But they have cookies,” Galse pouted.

“Cookies!” Kataaas asked angrily. “We have zuccinis!”

Galedd narrowed his eyes. “Get your filthy vegetables away from me!” His left pinky toe twitched furiously against what was left of his shoe, the fabric making a loud “pphhfffffffffttttt” noise and the toenail scraped agiants it. “I am intensly offended by ur offer!!!” he said. “I only accept the finest quality beef.”

Katkit slowly raised her face to meet Gela’s orbs. “Very well,” she said menacingly. “So be it”

Reaching into her poket, she pulled out the remains of Peta’s Zucchini. With the regenerative powers of a thousand passionate french men, she summoned molecules from thin air to regrow the parts of Zucchini-Peth that ate earlier in the story.

“Auuuuurrrrggghh,” Catpiss moaned strangely.

Petcha was now a whole zucchini again, for plot purposes.

Using the remaining power she had left from wherever she got it from, Kandys grabbed Geel’s forearm and Peet-Zucchini, teleporting them into a swirling ball of light that was shaped like a squirell for some reason.

They landed in a busy marketplace. “Why did you bring us here?” asked Zucc-Peet.

“I got thing i wanna tell you,” replied Kantus. “You see, all humans have the innate desire to belong to an in-group.”

“Uhhhh,” came a confused sound next to her. She turned to see a befuddled Grail watching her. “What?”

“Don’t worry about it too much,” Katinis faced the crown in front of them, trained eyes darting between people much like a master assassin would. Or maybe even a spy. A spysassin, then. Yes. Katusin is now a master spysassin. Yes.

“Humans behave in predictable patterns. You just have to know a few rules.”

In her poket, Zucc-Peet quivered questioningly.

“Social identity theory,” Kuntis mumbled in reply, as if that answers his query. “People tend to pick and choose companions based on characteristics. Its quite fascinating, if you actually think about it.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Gedrail watching her warily.

“They place themselves into groups that have similar traits as them. They’ll even adopt personality traits from the group. People are so very interesting, aren’t they?” Wlking quietly towards an alleyway, she beckoned for Gull to follow. Zucc-Peet repositioned himself to a more comfortable spot in her surprisingly spacious pocket. “Uhhh Kynys?”

“Easily preditable, i say,” Kaaaaaaat said while continuing to walk, ignoring Zucc-Peet. “Imagine the possibilities! If we know how people act, we can control them, and theyll be none the wiser.”

Behing her, she could sense Gatel fidgiting, his nervous energy betraying the calm vibration of his voice. “Kantu, youre talking about mass manipulation here! This isnt exactly easy to do!”

“Hey Kaynis,” Zucc-Peet said from his spot between her boobs.

“Galye,” Kansah said, ignoring Zucc-Peet once agin. “I am above the laws of nature.” Ducking under a suspicious looking cart selling a substace that looked like hashish, she led Gyle behing an old crumbling building into an alleyway.

Once properly shrouded by T͆H͆E͆ D͆A͆R͆K͆N͆E͆S͆S͆, Kityny took Zuucc-Peyt, not acknowledging his whispered protests. As soon as she was a distance from the vegetable and Grass, she fell to the mud covered floor on her knees. A dull crunch echoed between the buildings as her bones shifted to make way for thick fiberous branches. Throrny stems sprouted from her spine to form her signature vine-spider legs, lifting her now limp body off the damp earth.

“You see,” she sneered. “The skies are silent when i speak, and mountains bow before me.”

A quiet sigh came from inside her poket.

“Wow,” Zuck-Peet whispered in awe. “I… i think i loaf you.” 


	15. The End (of Peet)

Who is he? SaLAManDer HaMILtoN 

 

Oops i accidently wrote my project on this document. 

 

\------------------------------

 

The Zucc is bacc and hes taking a nacc and a snacc

What is a nacc?

* * *

 

“You see,” she sneered. “The skies are silent when i speak, and mountains bow before me.”

 

A quiet sigh came from inside her poket.

 

“Wow,” Zuck-Peet whispered in awe. “I… i think i loaf you.”

* * *

 

“I cant think of anything funny right now. Man i cant believe i walked into that… pinch m- no wait don’t pinch me uuuuggh what is life. Its like a nightmare.” (Lam, 2018)

 

She stared forlornly at the computer screen, suddenly shifting forwards to press her face against the filthy screen.

 

“I write too many fanfictions. Yesterday i was doing something and then the kingdom hearts song just started playing and i didn’t even turn it off.” (Sanchez, 2018)

 

“Hey Laura, are you going to comic book club today?” (Long, 2018)

 

“Um idk i might be going to MECHA idk i might show up um yeah i think ill be there yea ill show up” (Sanchez, 2018)

 

In retailliation, she pulled out her phone, typing furiously, trying to 

 

abd let out an evil huff f laughteor under her brea

  1. He was furiously typing, her moving lije lightning. She clicked her mouse multiple times, 



fingersfingersfingersfingers

And thus began an epic battle of typing speed. 

fingers

 

“Man i can’t believe i actually walked into that room uuuuugggghhh. Nooooo stop this is going to be engrained into my brain heuasuhaahahuehuehue!!” (Sanchez, 2018)

 

She was now typing faster, not blinking away from the screen. Sge stopped breathing too, beciming so focused and engrossed until finally, the sentence was complete. 

Sbe could relax. 

She put her leg on the chair, kinda like a confused monkey. 

 

In her excitement, her knee was furiously bouncing up and down, much like an overly hyperactive bunny on crack cocaine. 

 

She was. Typing even faster now, determined to roast the girl besides her. Little did shs know the girl besides could literally spit fireeee. 

 

“Bwaaaahoooahahahahohohaoah,” she laughed.

 

“Aoaoooaooaoaoaoaoaoaoaoaoaooaa” she screamed. 

 

Behind them, Gale gasped.  _ Gasp  _ he gasped silently under his gasping gasp. 

 

Jenifer kuness gasped in respionse 

 

GAWSP

 

Then, you see, what happened was that they gasped so hard that that they both passed out. They lied the dirty, muddy allyway for maybe like a few minutes or so, then the awkoen again. By now, Zucc-Peet had learned to control hiss vegetable body and had rolled several feet away from the pair. 

 

Lmao wot are u doing 

 

Petra awakened a few minutes later.

 

“I am the darkness”  he whispered and then passed out again. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  


She did a thing. He also did a thing. 

 

Jesus joined the server. 

  1. Eugene J. Gene joined the server.



Jesus left the server.

 

“My lord, my savior, why have you forsaken us?”

 

I look out the window, contemplating life. 

Dear god, what am I doing?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I run out of the classroom, find the biggest speaker in my location and blast the USSR anthem.

 

Communism is a pinata im not havin a stroke i promise

 

Pettare knew he was dying. His lips trembled in fear as he glanced over at Kanstuns beside him, she was also injured by the Zucc. There was no going back, the darkness was here. 

 

(man i have like.. No creative juices left) 

(please help) 

(check ur email) 

(started a new word doc) 

 

And then there was no darkness, for there is light. Bright light shone down from the heavens as Kaats and Graes looked up, the warm rays stabbing gently into their sight orbs. 

 

“How could this happen to me?” said Dale, as Kiat stood behind him. She placed a warm and gentle hand on his shoulder as Chacarron, by El Chombo started to play in the background. 

 

Gela stared quizzically at Kitkit, who, in her confusion, flailed backwards and slapped Zucc-peet violently. The relativly laarge vegetable-man flew into the air, then off the cliff that they’ve been standing next to the whole time but no one mentioned. 

 

“Noooooooooooooo,” Katsis yelled. She lunged forward in an attempt to grab him, but he was smooth and slippery, much like a normal zucchini, and slid between her fingers without friction.

 

“Whyyyy,” murmerd Zucc-peet as he fell off the edge, and a distant splash was the only indication of his impact with the earth (or river, or lake, or whatever he landed in). 

 

Katsis stood back in silence. She brought her hands up to smooth her hair down, and it was only then that she noticed the trembling digits. 

 

Gal pulled imself up next to her. His quiet tears contrasted the emotion in his eyes. 

 

“Im so sorry,” he whispered.

 

Kaniss clenched her fingers into a tight fist, blunt nails leaving crescent-shaped marks in the soft flesh of her palm. 

 

“Yea,” she choked. “Me too.”

 

Galeed face te ocean again, letting the cool night air fan across his face. For a time, neither of them moved. Only when it was midnight did he finally stand, pulling a shaken Katpiss up with him.

 

“Time to go,” he told her gently, leading her away from the edge of the cliff. Kitnass followed listlessly, looking back over her shoulder one last time.

 

“Goodbye Peatah,” she whispered into the wind. “I loaf you.”

  
  



	16. The Vamps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Am now taking prompts to add whenever into the story

Galeed face te ocean again, letting the cool night air fan across his face. For a time, neither of them moved. Only when it was midnight did he finally stand, pulling a shaken Katpiss up with him.

 

“Time to go,” he told her gently, leading her away from the edge of the cliff. Kitnass followed listlessly, looking back over her shoulder one last time.

 

“Goodbye Peatah,” she whispered into the wind. “I loaf you.”

* * *

 

Ha.

 

Did you really think that i would let all the characters live? I mean… I hope you read all the tags. I did list one of them as “Major Character Death” after all.

 

Are you surprised?

 

I suppose this is the end for Peeta. Our beloved Peeta. He was a kind soul, soft and neat, content to live out his last days as a vegetable. A zucchini, in fact.

 

Let us celebrate his life, to remember him in hearts, both as a soft boy and a kind man. A Peeta man.

 

“To Peata,” Gael and Catnix chant together. A single tear rolled down her cheeck, and she laid her head against Grass’s shoulder.

 

The wind blows her hair away from her face.

 

The wind smacked her hair into her face again. Zucker will pay.

 

The two young almost-adults walked down the path, finally leaving the ocean cliff behind them. Ok can we just stop here for a sec. Has anyone remembered that Katniss is supposed to be sixteen in the books. And here we are, turning her into bird memes and throwing her boyfriend off of cliffs. Isn’t Peeta the same age? Man, I almost feel bad. Almost. But not quite. Okay back to the story now.

 

The two young almost-adults walked down the path, finally leaving the ocean cliff behind them. Walking and in hand, KAtni and Geear made their way slowly towards the beach house that suddenly apeard in the distance.

 

“Are you sure it’s safe?” Grab asked Kaniss. His hands twitched, betraying the nervousness he kept so well hidden. The act did not go unnoticed by Kniss.

 

“We’ll be fine,” she assured him. “Besides,” she smirked. “Even if we did run into trouble, I can take care of it.” The jagged scars on her back rippled in warning, reminding Grass that the deadly thorny-branch-vine-spider-legs that lay beneath.

 

Just as suddenly as they started, the twisting skin settled down, the only indication of any occurance was the miniscule drops of blood, where the thorns peeked through.

 

Kiss raised an eyebrow at Geed, daring him to say otherwise. Gals wisely kept his mouth shut.

 

“We better get moving,” he commented instead. The sky darkened and a splash of wetness landed on the nail of his right pinky finger. “I guess the sky won’t wait for us.”

 

They pushed their way through the strangely trimmed shrubs, finally reaching the small cottage just as the rain began to fall in heavy sheets.

 

Kittnix paused in front of the thicc wooden doors. “Should we knock?” she asked.

 

“Who cares?” replied Giin, pushing his way past her. “I’m cold and wet, and it looks like this place has a solid roof.”

 

Kasisn follow her dripping friend into the house, taking note of the roaring fireplace. Dark wooden floors and walls gave the feeling of a cozy forest cottage.

 

“Looks like someone lives here,” she said. Her eyes landed on a massive painting that hangs above the fireplace. She made her way towards it, stepping carefully around a bearskin rug draped on a chair. A pale man in dark clothes stared back at her from the painting. Her eyes widened in recognition.

 

“We need to leave,” Kittenpiss hissed.

 

“What?” Grale asked from his place by the fire, now a little drier than he was a few minutes ago. “We can’t leave, it’s nearly flooding outside.” He paused, finally noticing the panicked look in the eyes.

 

“Hey,” he murmured softly. “What’s wrong?”  

 

KAntim looked around, limbs flailing wildly as she attempted to communicate her distress. Her mouth rapidly opened and closed, but no sound came out. She peered into The Darkness behind Gstale.

 

A looming shape rose out of the shadows. In the distance, she could hear the thunder rumbling in response to its master. The shape edged towards Grass, and katnix sat frozen, unable to move a muscle out of fear. Gaale, unaware of the immidiate dnger, continued to stare at Kitnis.

“Kitty?” he questioned. Katsis swallowed, opening her mouth agian to warn him, but just as the frst syllable left her speech hole, the shadow lunged forwards and sank its claw into Groot’s shoulder.

 

“OHOHOHOHO!” Gnal shreiked. The sound of bone crunching filled the small room, almost drowing out his very unmanly whimpers. He fell forwards, landing in a growing puddle of his slightly neon colored blood.

 

KAtnis could finally make out the odd shadowy shape standing above her love. Pale shimmery skin stretched tight over thin bones, with long limbs that sharpened into claws. The creature was covered in an old black cloth, tattered around the edges for dramatic effect.

 

“Hello, darling,” the thing hissed quietly. Katnissss ssshivered, the sound of its speech grating on her nerves.

 

“Hello, Count Smackula,” Kitnix replied evenly, not wanting to anger the legendary vampire.

 

The tension was only broken by a shuddery laugh from the floor.

 

“Aahhaah,” Greel wheezed. “Why do they call you Count Smacku-”

 

His giggles were violently cut off as the vampire whirled down and slaped him so hard that he flew arcross the room and landed at Kitten’s feet.

 

“Oh,” Galele gapsed. He clutched at Kutnas’s legs in a fultile attempt to pull himself off the wooden floorboards.

 

“Count Smackula,” Katccic looked him in the eye. “I would appreciate it if you refrain from smacking my friend.”

 

“Darling, my darling,” it hissed, the end of its sentence tapering off into a growl. “You come into my home, trespassing on my property, and you dare to make demand!” The pale figure removed its hands from beneth its cloak, gesturing in rage.

 

Kat snorted, inturrupting the vampire from its raged mumbling. In an instant, it was infront of her, anger simmering in its eyes.

 

“What are you laughinh at?” it snarled.

 

“Nothing, nothing, i swear,” Ketnex appeased, trying to keep a straight face. “It’s just that-” she looked down at Count Smackula’s ridiculously large hands. “I think you have Yaoi Hand Syndrome.”

 

Count Smackula brought his hand in front of his face. And boy, let me tell you, they were indeed very large. The fingers alone were twice as long as his face, and it looked like he could enulf your entire head in his hands.

 

With a defeated sigh, he let his arms fall and walked glumly to the loveseat beside the fireplace and plopped down on it. His chin could cut cheese from how pointy it was.

  


Gir gasped as the hoooded figere, feeling his lungies literally collaspe from his ample chest.

 

Katissis stepped over Gaer, who was still on the floor, and made her way towards the sullen vamp.

 

“I need a medic jm bleeding to death please help me ketness i promise i will be a god bandhus just please let me live i cant die like tjis ill give yiu everyrhing i own just call the medics caltness i swesr ill average zucker and selon suck just please ley me live. I'm a good person, and it may seem like i sabotaged petewah to die so i could take over but please just let me livenamajd djdid aksoala” c̷̗̹̼̗͎̤̈́͋̅̂̿̓͜͝ͅͅa̴̡̗̗͔̲̬͖̖͐̅͊̂̈̐̚n̵̡̦̣̣̱̦̞͍̘̪̈́̈̈́̑͋͑͋̓̔̓͠ͅt̴̨̺̰̘̺̞̹͚͓͍͎̺͛̔̾̇̈́̓͛̚͜ͅ ̶̡͖̮̟̼̝͇̤͓̘̟̱̅̈́͂͛͆̿́̄̐͜ḑ̶͔̬̭̗͍̹̯̠̯̤͋͐̏͂̈́̀͗̚͘͝͝ͅi̸̼̳̹̯̠̣͖͔̪̇̇͌͌̌̆̈̈͛͘͠͝ȩ̴̝̝̪̙̯̦̈́́̓͆͊̏͝ ̵̨̰̦͎̬̮̱͙͋̔̌̚ͅl̷̨̤̦͉̜̰͈̖͍̝̥̳̟͕̘̄͒̐i̸̛͕̎̈́̋̆́̇̾͋̆̏͠k̴̢͇̩͍̱̗̮̬͈̀͗͒͜ȩ̶̞͓͐͂̌̓̈́̇͊̄̾̀͝ͅ ̸͓̦̳͎͍̻͗͑̄̇̅̑̓̓̆̓̚ţ̴̛̯̞͕̮͙̭̟͖̀̋̌͜j̴̧͎̱̣̳͚̪̩͎̓͂̓̒͗̍̎̑̈́̋̌̍̎͗͜͜͜͝î̴̮̺̮͈ş̴̨̧͈̖̖̤̳̝̩̪̞́̃̓ ̶̛̛͕̻̯̣̙̈́̇̎̾̓̃̃̑̐̀͘͜i̸̧̨͕̭͇̼̯̘̫̤̯͔̪̓͂͊̈̉̓̏͒̆͝͝l̸̛̤̥̜̰̱̦͓͚̟̬͔͔͎̪̐̀̉̾͋̿͘͠l̷͑̅̾́̽͌̇̾̀̕͝ͅ ̶̜͙̀̎̌̔̒̐̅͒ĝ̸̰̬̼̩̪̹̳͎̟̙̯̓̀̑̓͐͐͛̌̈́̌́͐͠i̶̧͍͍̮̩͍͇̳͖̟̗̜̋̑͆͂͂̓̇̊͗̕͘͝v̷̛̥̞͉̪̺͊̿͛͂ė̷̢̖̗̥̰̻̼͔̘̃͐̊́̂͐ ̵̧̡̛̬̱̹͈̪̼̹̗̺͈͚̉̉͛̊̓͛͋͐̏̈́͒̍̕͜͠y̸̧̛̛̛̳̝͈̮̬̤̞̠̬̤͖͒̍͗̃̓̔͐͂͋͜ͅi̸̫̳̳̥̲̝̯̟͓̯̘͖͐̍͂̓͒̒̕u̶̢̼̝̪̺̗͍̰̾ ̵̬͙̗͕̓̂̎̄̏̍̊̾̑̚͘͝͠͝͝ę̷̡̛͔͇͉̤̝̖̟͙͂̒̐͒̋͘v̷̯̹̙͓̪̤̦̜͍̗͈̓̑͐̉̄͋́͐̔̔͜͠ė̷͎͇̤̏̿̎r̴̳̿͐͑̋́͋́͝y̷̢̛̦̤̥̙̘̪̬̰̩͕̖͖̖̩͐̍̓̌̐́́̂̑͠ŗ̶̟̘͙̝̭̠̠̘̩͋̐̆h̶͈̣͈̮̔ͅi̵̢̢̫̠͕͙̯̱̰͔̗̝̱̓̈́͑́̑͆͛̌̓͘̕̕͝n̵̢̡̹̰̭̫̣̖͕̦̜͍̯͌̅̊̊̅͊̉̓̆̓̋̚g̸̹̻͙͔̣̈́͂̔́̎̉̉͊͋̒̎̈́̈̕ ̸̨̼̮̑̋͒̾͂͊͛̏̆͊̕i̷̫̘͍͛̔̉̌̏̂ ̴̧̧͓̗̤͉͓͎̍̑͆͜o̶͎͙̥̔͌̇͌͒͠͝w̴̘͎̞̩̼̰̄͗͠n̴̢̺̭̬͔͚͇̙͉͍̗̿̂̓͑̂̅̚̚͝ ̵̡̛͎̯̝̲̰̺̞̩̙̔̈̆̅̓͂̉̉̎̚͠͠͝j̴̢͂͂͠ȕ̷̳̥̅̆͆̽̇̔͑͐͗̆͑s̷̛̭̙̺͇̭͚̝̼̟͎̖̏̐͆͛̄̄̋͗̕͘͝t̴̳͉͚̗͔̞͛́̿̔͛̄̃̓̓̕̚ ̷̛̤͈̤͙̺̼̥̤̘̪͋̓̍̄͆̃̉̕͘͝͝ͅc̸̢̗͓̻̬̪͒̊̓̀̚͘͘̕a̴̰̥̼̻̮̖̬̒̌͌̊͠l̶̨̫͚̖̳̩͚͎̒l̶̢̜͙͈̰̜͉͙͋ͅͅ ̶͓̤͈̻͖̠͙̻̠̜̲͖͛͊̆̃̽̔̑̿̔̓̾̏̕͠ͅt̶̻͛ȟ̴̨̞͚͚͗̈́́́͆͌̅̑̐͐̒̇͠ẻ̴̡̡̛͇̙̹͓̘̦̤̦͔̝͓̭̙̅̿͐͑͒̎̅͑̌́͋̚ ̸̜̬͍̦͕̥͌̅̽̓͊̌̚͠m̷̧̡̡̙̹͖̟̼̖͎̜͉̽̂͐̿͘ė̶͈͎͖̯̖̥͈͙̬͚̖̯͖̕d̸̛̙͈͝i̵̡̱̫̬̳̗̪̗̻̲̩̝̠̠͗̃̐̄̇̕̕͠͝͝c̸͖͈̦̟̯̦̙̞̞͈̞̘͔͗̐̽̓ṡ̴̗̦͇̲͖̭̍ ̴̛͚͊̈́̑͑̾͐̂c̵̪̪̟̪͍̥̙̤̳͈̥͙̟̪̓͂͗å̷̡̳̰̹̮͍̗̠̰͈̳̋̈l̸̨̦̹̱͍̞̥̝̲͈̘̆̓͜͠t̶̻̙̣̪̩̤̫̝̣̭̠̬͗͆͌͗̊̍͝n̶̺̣̈̌͌̃̊̉̈́̿̒͝͝͠ȩ̸͍̭̬̈́̈́̆s̵̢̥̘̟̳̞͔͖̿̍̀̄͜s̷̛̮̤̰͆̉̈́̈́̋͛̄́͑̇̕͘͘͜͝ ̸̧̧̘̞̇̇̈̊̈́͊͗̎͗̋͌̔̐͠ͅi̸̢̡͇̹̊̃̃̌͘ ̴͙̱͓̼͕̩̻̯̯̠̭̥͐͆̅̍̽̐͜͠͠s̶͕̠̳̺̙͚͋̄ŵ̷͙͈͈͉͊́̌͛́̏̄͆̇͊̚͝e̶̖̠̻̼̣̲̯̖̘̲̱̓͗̈́́͋͗̾̈͌̽͋͜͝ͅs̶̢̙̬̺͈̗͎̋̐̈́̎̊̍̇̿̿̆̈́̊͋̅͝ͅr̶͖͎̹̙̙͉͖̣͈̼̈́̎̓̾͋͜͜ ̴͉̝̞̘̗̪̫̥͚͌͐͜í̴̢̨̬̰̟̑̓͛l̸̮̪͕̜̲̜̂͗̏̕͜ͅl̸̨̧̛̩̯͕̤̖͖͚̤̥͇̠̊̆̓̽͗͑̊̆̽ͅ ̴̱̬̫͊̔̇ả̷̻̯͉̬̼̭̟̱͉̱͂̀̊̊͂̈́̓̚͠v̷̙̳͈̖̝̤̪͆̊͜e̸̟̭͗͆͑̄͐̉̍̈́̅͑͌̈́̾͜r̴̡̛͔͖͔̬̤̀̂̅̇͌͐̊̋̍͋̾͝͠͠ͅą̶̬̬̲̫͎̱͒̒̂g̷̢̮̮̰̹͓͍̞̳͑ę̷̹͇͖̘͎̍́̋̿̿̚͜ ̶͇̫̺̱̱̞̥͖́̐͐̂z̵͎̖̥̮̪̜̦͖̯͈̻̗͑͐̓̈̾́̋̃̈́͗̐͘ŭ̷̧̡̢̠͓̼̺̲͓̦̱̼̱̝͔̊̈́̒̔̿͂̎͗͊̒̿̌̕͝c̸̡̟͕͈̟̰̓̇͆̒͂k̶̢̺̟͍̪̜̼̬̙̘͖͉͉̰͂̽̂͒͒͜e̶̡̢̤̱͎̠͛̌̓̑̈́͊͛͘r̶͔͕̿́͊͗̈́̐̓̓͌̈̐̒͘ ̷͚͌̃̈́̑͒̽̍̀̏͘â̸̡̗̣͇̳̮͙̘͙̊̈́̐͆́̓͋̈̂̚̕n̸͓͇̩͇͓̭̗̤̮͂͗̎̇̇̕͜ͅd̵̨̛̤̻̱̘̼͔͎̝̮̯̈̿̉͌̓͗͠ ̷̧̨̛̗̞͓̎͛̽̃̈́͌͐͐̃̍̈̅͝s̸̻̞͕̰̜̬̓͛̽͒̌̽̍͝e̵͖̰͕̯͓͕̼͙͇̳̒̿́̐̍̐̌̇̂̚͜l̶̛̮͉̹̞̮̺̮̠͎͉̦̳͉͖͛ó̵̲̰̗̖̺̯̯͘̚n̶̮̟̱̊̄̋͗͆̃̔ ̴̤̺͓̞̖̳̼͖͚̔̏̒̾͂̀ͅs̸͙̣̳͊̊̊͘u̸̯͗̃̏̄̓͝ͅc̸̡̠̬̠̣̝̩̰͎̔̓͆͋̆̊̾̈͘͜͠k̴̛̪̝̺̇̃͝ ̷̢̦͈̭̱̠͛̐͌̓̂̿̌̽͋̽̕̕͠ǰ̸̨̛̦͇͔̝̲̠̟͔̅̽̾͂̋̍̉̚͝ͅũ̶̡͔̳̠̦̤̰̩̠̟̼̓͛̇͐̅̕s̸̨̙̦̜̭̫͔̱̙̱̪̾͊́̎ţ̸̢̣̥̪̮̠͑͂̌̒͋̐̎̐̚͘͝ ̴̧̢̞͎̅̎̔̿̃̏̒̚͝͝p̵̣̙̘͍͇̮̹͔̦͖̌̓̐͂͒͒̓͌̑͐͗̕ͅl̴̨̢͓̤̫̦̯̣̜̟̙̪̦͕͈͘ę̷̨̛͍̤̝̮̘̝̘̐̊̆̊̏̃̃̕ā̸͖̮͇̱̩͚͓̥͊s̵̩̮̲̥̞̯̠̤͉̉̇̂͗͛͊͌̅̐̊͝ẻ̷͇͐̈́͐̐͐̋̐̊̌͘͝ ̸̛̤̝̤̟̹̦̌̈́̾̓͋̓͗̄̽̌̕l̶͉͊͋̌͌̂̐̂̄̽̀̓̕͠e̷̻̤͙͓̠͇͕̥̙̭̼̞̹̠͒͗̊͐̈͝y̸̨̦̝̱͚̯͙̌̾̋̎́̊̐̓̓̀̈́̈́̓͝ ̷̡̡̩̠͔͔͎̠̦͈̒̈́ṃ̵̧͓̮̤̞̲̺̥̈́̾̐͗̈́͌͑̎͘͘͜ḛ̵̢̡̛̠̘̪̝̣̳̲͚̗̖͖̈́͆̈́ͅ ̸͇̌͛̏͗̿̎́͒̏̚͝l̴̨̧̡̢̘̖͈̫͎̟̳̤̩̓́̍̈̅͆̑̉͐͘͜͝ͅį̸̖̙̦̬̻͉̙̠̺̺͈̻̹͛͗́͋̈̿̉̓͐̕͝͝v̵̧̞̘̣̗̹̼̰̑͠ͅȇ̴̩͚̲̖̝̥̙̘̽̾̔͊͠͠.̵̡̠̦͌́̉̆͆̐̈̕͠ ̶̜̙̳̈́̂̄͂̄͋̄͆͑́́̌̏̅͋Ȉ̸̡͚̩̫̲̓͋̓͌̈̈́͐́̓̔̓̃̅̿͜ͅ'̵̡̩͍̅̈́̈m̸̧͎̟̝͍̞̼̀͛͗̊̿́͆̉̄͛͜͝ ̵̡̠͓̱͎̫͓͇̳̗͋̾̄̉̔̔͌͐̾͛͝͝ͅa̵̦̱̠͒͐̐̿̀̋̋̀̒̚͝ ̴̨̭̼̫̪̲̺̺̄͑̏͌̈́̓̆̓̌̚g̶̡͕͙͖̮̻̩͔͔̓́͜ö̷̯͖͍̺̠̩͎̣̘͜ổ̶̡̦̐͐̇̓d̵̢̡̡̛͚̤̰͈̘̙̦̟͓̩͂̌̀̄̒̐̿͜ ̶̨̤̟̫̪̝̩̘̜͎̼̒͠p̸̡͖̩̺̣̲̙̝͛̾̈́͋̈̈́̈́̈̒̍̚e̸̢̬̤̣̜̗̟̖̙̣̺̞͙͒̌͛̈́͌̇͐́͋̽̋͋̓̕͜͠r̵̻͈̪̬̫̹̼̜͖̭̦̣͍̰̽͐̄̈́̕̕s̴͕̞̰̩̟͑͆̒͐͑͝o̶̳͑̌̑̃̄̋̐̓͘͠͝n̷̹̯̬͚̳̥͔͇̊̋̿̿͂͋̐̈́̈́͗̃́̄̍͜,̶̹͍̐̽͊̆̽ ̸̘͚̱̱̮̺̣̮̈́͛͗̍̿̍͋̇̿̕͜͠ȧ̵̧͇̭͔͋͂͂̈́̑͝n̸̝̝̺̘̓͊͐̑͒̋̉̇̽̑͛̿ẗ̷̝̲̮͍̺͈͚͕͚̭̻͚͚̣́̍͋̈̆̏͜͠ ̴̢̧̨̛̛̜͉̤͕͉͓͕͈̥̳͈̒̆̉́͌͛̈̕m̴͎̟̦̳̰̫̩̙̝̖̤̱̱̐̕͜ā̵̯͉̮̲̠̞͇̤̰̒́̽̓y̵̡̢͎͕̺̬͆̽̋͌͑̒̈́̈̃̾͆͐̑̚͠ ̸̧͎̙̗̟͔̠̻̘̻̈́̔̈́s̷̡̛͙͎͑̓̚̕͠e̷̡̮̩̯͔̭̱̤̰͗͛̍͛̀͋̒̽͋͝ͅe̷̢̛͍̬͇̰̗̜̎̓͒̇̋̚͘͜͠m̶̬̣̜̪̫͓̈́̂͛͊̒͋͆̀͒̊̔̆̕͝ ̷̺͚̭͙̯̮̮̟̪̣̄͗̔̆̽̊̈̂̓̆͝͝l̵̮̙͍̗̣͙̜͒i̸̢̧̜̱̯̺̘͍̩̻̭̙̥̐̅͒͂͆̿̈́͊̇̆͝k̵̨̧̥̞̦͖̭̠͚̘͖͉̙͎̟͗̃͛̊̊́̍͛ę̸̡̟̩̯̳̜͔̝͙̲̎ ̴̨̙̮̝͕̲̲̺̻̙̱̉̉̓̿͂̓͑̀̑̐̀̓̈͘ͅͅĭ̵̻͇͉̞̮̘̹̪̻̣̟͖͌͂͂̾̓̑̚̚ ̶̨̯̯͍͕̫̺̟͓͉̣̯̣̦̊͑̏̾͗̃͐͊̏̄̒́̃͘s̶̨̢͍͍͇͙̮̘̽̉͑̿͌͊͐͒͐͗̉̑̍ͅạ̸̦͍̦̼͎̇̇̅̍͆̒̓͘̕͜b̵̨̛͈̗̘̉́̆ͅǫ̶̡̞͉̳̹̣̯̺̲̌̃̈́͐͋̍̊͗̍̒̈́͐̌̉̍t̴̡̩̼̺͙̦̳͍͍̲̂̏͐ͅä̷̲̣͕̫̺̮̲̜̻̪̿͊͂̐͝ğ̴̛͔͚̮̯͇̠̩͖͌̎̒͗͐̆̋͘͜ę̴̱̗̝̙̣̳̦͝d̷̨̧̮̲̳̠̭̣͖̲̑̂̏͂͋̄͛͛̂͑̈́̋̕͝͠ ̸̳̦̩̥̜͚̣̘̪̓̾ͅp̶̦̗̖͖e̵̢͚͛̅͐͑͑̾͑̽̆͒̎͒̃̑͠t̵̼̰̰͚̥͌̆̇̓̀̀e̵̬̭͉̳̟͆̈́͠w̴̟̣͈̤̘͚̖̔͒̔̚̕ͅa̴̲̓ḩ̵̧̖̺͚̗͎͉̤͈̳̠̾̌̈́̈̅̌̄̔̓̆́͝ͅ ̷̳̺̗̠̪̟̠̎͊̈́̋͜͝ͅt̶͍͙͖̤̙̩͇̖͈͊̍͌̕o̷̘̖̣͍͊̚ ̸͖̫͔͙̍̄̄d̵̡̡̜̝̥͙̙̀̈́͂͐̾̀̆̎̆̀̾͘͠i̵̳̗̝͒̎̐̈̾̌͆̚ȩ̴̧̪̖̞̞̫̣̹̺̞͛̒̐͐̈̌̏͑̽ ̸̯̭̻̆s̶̯̐̀̕o̸̢̼̼͎̜̼̤͈̬̙̅̌̏̋̍̾̚͝͝ ̴̢̫̬̹͉̜̱̪̥̰͖̖̎͒̂̔̈̆̅͂͐̓̕ͅͅi̷̛̛̟̬̙͙̱͔̬̲̜̎̃̈́͆̏̚ ̵̢̱͇̩̈̄̓̈́̀̉̅̊̕͝c̶̭͆̇̃͒̓̂̕̕o̵̢̦̼̗̻̱̻̲͕̐̃̐͌̈́͆̔͗̎̇͠͠ͅu̴̧͓͎̰̼̤̳̜̫̮̭̥͇̪̭͌̅̓̌̐̀͋̓͗̑͒͠l̷̳̘̭̼̋̋͊͑d̷̢̢̛̝̖̱̻͉͎̬̯̣̟̦͓̎͛̔͑̉̉͋̽͘͘ͅ ̶̡̪̺͖̺̫̞̦̲͖̬̙̣̿ț̷̢̯̻̥̜͖͉̦͎̣̃̿͊̎̈̓̏̅͜͝a̵̡̨͍̰̦̝͔̓̓̔͊̄̈͐̓k̴͎̺̜̙̃̌̊͂̕̚ȩ̶̯̜̮̼̟̘̘͇̞̈̊͋̎̈́́̄͂̚͝ ̴̨̺̬̼͍̝̜̰̝͈̪͈͖̣̊̒͛̓ǫ̶̢̝̟͖̣̱̝̣̮̰̭̙̃̑͒̐̆͜͜v̸̢̧͎͕͙̗͓̩̜͋ē̶̛̠͕̩̪͎͎̣̃̇͂͠͝͝͝ŗ̸̭͚͕͈̞̪͎̟̼͚͓͆̑̇̓̽̓̍̍͗̚͝ ̵̪̬̘̝̲̠̪͉̝̤̩͂̍͐̆͗b̵̝͕̪͈̲͕͖̲̠͈͇͕̌ư̷͓̂͑t̶̜͋ ̷̨͖̜̲̣͈̲̫͖͇̍̑̎͒̏̅̈́͜p̸̡̛͈͇͗̅̂̄̈́́͘͘l̶̨̧̨̼̙͈̮̫̲̮̖̪̅̇͑̽̃̋̒ͅȩ̶̺̖̪̤́͋̄̈́͘ã̴̢̛̰͎̺̘̱̖̫͙̭̙͓͊̕ͅs̸̨̬̟̯͍̟̰͖͂͂̅́̏̿̽̂̇̂̃͘͝ȩ̷̢̘̗̜̭̤͙͉͖̻̼̭̉ͅ ̶̡͕̺̙͎͖̤̪̬̺̤̟͍̿̄̆͋j̸̛̮̱͎̪̫̲̯̻̟̹͚̠̼͗̐̒̐̑̏͐͐͒̈́̕ͅư̷̧̨̩͍̜̣̹͚̠̣͉͔͓̂͋͂̓̔̔͛ͅs̴̨͕̭̦̘͔̭̜̗̼̖͚̙͔̗͑͗̅̎̈t̸̨̡̩͔͍̯̮͔̯͈̟͘ ̵̭͕̦͒̈́̌̓͐̓̎͒̕͝͠ļ̴̧̨̹̱̩̯̠̟͈͍̰̩̼̱͒͛̃̊̿̉̇͛́̆̂̑ȩ̴̠̗̘̫̩͓̺͓̊̈̆̎̐̾͆̎͜ṫ̶̤̗̜̳̠̦̲̯̺̮̪̒͆̍̽͆͆͛̚͝ͅ ̸͈̮̳͖̥̬̈̈̽̀͑̔͘͘͝m̸̧̧̟̆͒̎e̵̲̳̳̜̻͙̤̱͌͑̒̄̔͝ ̷̙̻͛̽̋̄̊̋l̷̢̢̰̜̼̫̰͉̠̩͕͂̅̊̓̈́͊̾͌i̷̡̤̓͐͌͆̅͆̈̎̌̎͘̚v̷̼͔̹͎̩̻͇̝̘̫͚͑̂̒͛̽́̈́̌̄̔e̷͔̲̼͔͍̙̩̘͚͕͎̞̲̠̋͘n̶̢̨͖̤͖̯͉̥̞̺̠̰̻̙̙̈̏̅͐͊͐̋̕a̸̛̛͕̲̦͐̂͝͝͝ṁ̶̧̪̠̪́͌͆̈̉̓̉͂̏̎̾͑̂á̵̢̮͔̫͕̹̘̙̥̈̈́̓̀͌j̵̡̯̺̦̘͔͙̦̖̕d̷͔̩̦͍͓͎̠̤̖̮̫̗̖̀͜ͅ ̷̛̱̦͒̀͒̒̏̑͗̉͘ď̷̡̰͖̩͖͉̪͉͑̊̎͐͝j̸̡̯̲̩̟̺̦͔͔͍̬̪̲̰̋͐͑́̒̿͐͒͋̑d̷̘̟̫̑͌̈́̚i̵̲̙͍͙̱̤̺̖̗̹̣̩̙̎̉̋͒̐͜d̸̳̱̜͎̰̬̥̔̇̕ ̶̠̼͐̑͋̅͛̉̆̈̊ͅa̵̘͍̱͖̫̬̤͝k̸̢̠͙̝̳͖̗̩̱̘̭̭̔̽́̉̃̏̈́̈́̏͆̓̕s̵̱͓̠̟͇̳̮͖͓͕̣̞̔̃̀͆͗͛̋͠ó̸̘͙̩̲̱̜̫͓̻̞̣͚͓͍̼͗̓̆͛̍̂ḁ̵̧͕͔͖̗̫̳͙̦̇̄́́̾̉̐̀̚͜͝ͅļ̸̨̭̠̩̝͈̭͙͉͓̹̃͋̅͋̏̾̍͝a̸̧̡̗̣̖̞͎̬̲͓̳̘̾̈́͒̒̓͊̅̒͊͊̐”̸̼̤̝͓̯͒̓̐̊̚̕ͅ ̷̟͓͚̰̞͒̀̀̈́͋̌̆̏

  
  


Count Smackula spoke louder to drown out the sounds of a dying white boy. “Im very insecure about my hands ok dude?!?!”

 

“Ok dude,” Kitas shouted, mainly because someone in the background was being kinda noisy. “You know what they say about people with big hands”

 

Count Smackula looked up. “That they belong in an anime?”

 

“Exactly” Katkatkay assured him.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Right.”

 

_“Awawawawhhhhhh_ \- pls i don't wanna die like this kaitaa pls help me im literally blleding to death and youre here comforting a vampy dude about his overly large ahnhads pls kakayts i luv u pls don let me die like thes plas i can beg im literally begging rn pls”

 

Katar and Count Smackula looked at Grass.

 

“Ok,” said The Vamps. Then he went over and bit Galele so he would stop bleeding and become a vampire already lol i bet you didnt see that one coming amirite.

 

Kitkit gasped and threw some salt at them.

 

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Count Smackula, and Galer, who was now a vampire, looked at her confusedly.

 

“Oh.” she said. “Its not salt is it?”

 

They looked at her in disappointment, much like how my parents look at me.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> To be continued…


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